Some of my fellow Mistresses are really into "pain" and the dynamic it plays in their interaction with their submissives. I haven't explored it as much as they have, but I must say the few conversations we've had about it, have been fascinating.
I understand the theory that a certain amount of pain can be cleansing and a very spiritual experience. There must be ultimate trust between the Mistress and the submissive, or else things can go bad very quickly. A Mistress must be completely attuned to her toy, their reactions and of course their boundaries of how much they can and can't handle. We need to know when to push those boundaries, as Mistresses do, and when to relent to our submissive's cry for mercy.
I didn't really think it was something I would enjoy, even if the person I was interacting with does. But I've had a quite a few phone sex CBT callers in the last week and I have begun to examine it more thoroughly. It can be an extremely intense exchange, being both exhilarating and satisfying for both parties. I've learned that giving pain is one of the most controlled forms of domination and it's not about taking your aggressions out on someone and making them "pay".
Originality is also extremely important. I understand most of the callers don't have an arsenal of pain inflicting items when they call, so I've had to get creative with household items and really think about the multiple uses that things can provide. (Did you know that a Q-tip dipped in alcohol can be used for urethral play?. Or a bottle filled with water becomes an excellent weight and ball stretcher?)
I must admit that I am loving my new found appreciation for this type of power exchange. Every time I start to explore a new fetish, it has this wonderful effect on me. It really changes my way of thinking and looking at the world around me. It seems like every time I turn the corner, another opportunity is waiting for me. So while shopping at Lowe's yesterday, I was not surprised when I imagined the clamps attached to a pair of male nipples or how I could use shower hooks to encase naughty bits while using the short bungee cords with the small-medium paint cans for a really good stretch. 😉
The "Do It Yourself" place, indeed.